A Note to Neighborhood Snobs

26 May

Lately it seems as though I can’t attend a backyard bbq or catch a late night show without having to listen to some random punk rag on uptown (or St. Paul or wherever else) and glorify their beloved South or Northeast Minneapolis.

Now before you start getting your panties in a twist over the subject, let me clarify that I have no qualms with Northeast or South. I think that both neighborhoods are very nice and have a lot to offer all of us wild and outgoing young degenerates and hipster-types.

My issue, however, is with the people who feel the need to partition Minneapolis and the Twin Cities into different neighborhoods that either ARE or AREN’T “the shit”.

To the people who talk trash about everywhere else as they hoighty-toightily curl their barbershop mustaches and grease their chains in South/Northeast: YOU SUCK! I hope your beloved chrome bag buckle results in you being struck by lightening (“But it was cool though, dude, because it still didn’t break! Can you believe it?!”)

I mean, come on, what exactly is your problem with acknowledging the fact that there is more than one interesting neighborhood in the cities? You know what I think it is—and maybe I’m going out on a limb here—perhaps you’re insecure about your neighborhood? Maybe you secretly miss Uptown? You did live there for somewhere between 2 and 10 years, right?

To the people who hate on St. Paul: Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it”? Of course you have. Well, there’s a reason why people say this: it’s true!

I love St. Paul, and I can’t wait to see the whole place blow up in the next few years (Central Corridor, here we come!)

Enough of me ranting—what do YOU have to say about the Twin Cities neighborhood wars?

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One Response to “A Note to Neighborhood Snobs”

  1. Jane June 7, 2011 at 11:59 pm #

    Something must have triggered this. What the heck happened McKenzie?
    Where’s the love – it’s everywhere if you look for it!
    Jane

Do tell.

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