One of the most painful aspects of attending an event that’s remotely “business-y”, or entering the world of “professionals” is the expectation to dress business casual (I shiver, readers, as I write the words).
The other day I had the opportunity to attend an event in St. Paul that was smack full of women, and all in business casual splendor. After observing these outfits in their natural habitat (a convention), I was able to piece together just what makes this dress code so particularly sad and a little nauseating.
What Midwestern Business Women Wear
- Polyester shirts that showcase their impressive back fat
- Oversized, outdated blazers in bright blues, reds, purples, and tacky black-and-white prints
- Unkempt, feathered short to mid-shoulder-length haircuts
- Blouses with ruffles
- Hair highlights that allow a single head of hair to demonstrate every color on the spectrum simultaneously
- Bad wire glasses
- Double-layered collars
- Fake leather totes in crocodile or snake skin
- Burgundy things
- “Vintage” loafers with chunky heels and misplaced buckles
- Taupe nail polish
- Black socks
- Wide-legged trousers
- Hair extremes—too big or too small
- Gold, silver, and platinum chain bracelets and watches
In reflection on all of this I would like to ask you a question, readers:
Does it really have to be like this? Why do these women make themselves look terrible in order to network and learn and promote their various causes and visions and businesses?