The Shocking Habits of the Modern Man

8 Nov

It sure is fun to talk about gender roles, isn’t it? No topic seems to get the blood boiling quite so fast.

With complete knowledge of this, I’m going to break down a few of the most surprising things I’ve observed about today’s man that seem contradictory to my good, old-fashioned American ideological expectations.

Men are Surprisingly Concerned with their Hair.

I’ve dated many a man who’s spent more time debating their haircut and soliciting me for reassurance than I’d have ever expected. I once asked my favorite hair stylist which demographic she found to be the most particular of all clientele. Her answer: Asian teenage boys. Who would’ve thought? I’ve also dated boys who use blow dryers and have more hair products than items in their refrigerator.

One male friend even admitted that he always cuts his hair short in the winter because he refuses to have “hat hair” during the season.

Men Use Extreme Amounts of Toilet Paper.

A girlfriend of mine is caretaker and tenant of a rental property in Minneapolis. She’s been living there quite a few years, and shared her home with renters from all walks of life. When the topic of her most recent set of roommates (who are all male) came up in conversation, she quickly blurted that she was shocked at the amount of toilet paper they go through compared to when she lived with girls.

Now, rational thought would suggest that women would inevitably consume more toilet paper then men, but for some strange reason this just isn’t true. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing with it in there, but it certainly disappears at a rapid-fire pace when there’s a male ‘using it’.

Let’s not even get started on barbershop mustaches.

Have you observed any shocking habits of the modern man that you’d like to share? Please do—I sure find it funny.

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One Response to “The Shocking Habits of the Modern Man”

  1. G November 8, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

    Perhaps those particular male room mates had hairy butts that required extra toilet paper. I was taught in the Boy Scouts to only use two squares, in keeping with the Scout oath to always be thrifty, and prepared for shortages.

    Hair is perhaps the most important thing defining a man’s manliness. A glance at the official portraits of the American presidents will reveal the incredible flux in hair styles, ranging from the waifish curs of Franklin Pierce, to the powerful comb-over of Jimmy Carter.Dwight D Eisenhower. Of particular note is that no head of state has had any facial hair since the great big Howard Taft held the office in 1909-1913, which goes to show that if you want to amount to much in this crazy messed up world, you got to work hard on your hair.

Do tell.

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