Dear Downtown Minneapolis, Why so Trashy?

24 Oct

Last month we all had to say goodbye to our beloved friend Mark, who decided to cross the ocean to meet French girls and work on his accent. But, before he left, the group of us resolved to do something we had never done before, and something ballsy indeed.

We decided to say au revoir by spending a night downtown Minneapolis, and I don’t mean First Ave. Why, you ask? Let’s just chalk it up to basic sociological curiosity.

Now, I haven’t spent a whole lot of time downtown, and especially not on the weekends, but the little time I had spent there was enough to indicate what sort of night we were all in for. Perilously high and tacky hooker heels, skirts with hemlines that would even make a jaded Express-shopping person blush, men with polyester dress shirts unbuttoned, and hoards of bachelorette parties swarming over each new and unsuspecting passerby.

And our trip downtown did display all of these people, and more.

Beyond the fact that going downtown seems to be about the biggest waste of money since my Theology 100 textbook, I find myself frustrated with the tooled-out nature of downtown Minneapolis. I even feel a little sad and embarrassed.

I would like to challenge you to a mind game requiring the utmost focus:

Picture downtown Minneapolis. Good, good. Now strip the place of all of your negative preconceived notions  and try to imagine a downtown full of bars, restaurants, and venues that are actually cool, and not filled with Paris Hilton wannabes and tools. Yes, now you’ve got it!

Why does it seem that downtown Minneapolis has become inherently mainstream trashy?

Does anyone else feel this way?

original image:

Do tell.

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