I’ve spent A LOT of money on useless, worthless, nonsensical trash in my day. But I like to image that I don’t stand alone in this, right? After all, we ARE Americans. However, instead of beating myself uselessly over the head for my irrational and irresponsible spending, I thought it might be helpful to share the 5 best purchases I’ve made in my adult life thus far.
- Espresso Machine: This may sound like an incredibly bourgeois purchase, but I found a trustworthy KRUPS at my favorite Goodwill on the corner of Fairview and University for a mere $7—and you can too. End the coffee shop monopoly on espresso! Power to the people.
- Kryptonite U-Lock: When I was a student in St. Paul, I and all of my belongings existed in a sort of bubble. However, when I parked my sleek Trek hybrid in the heart of downtown Minneapolis during Gay Pride Parade the summer after freshman year, that bubble dissolved into thin air, along with my bike. Don’t learn a lesson the hard way like I did.
- North Face Parka: Granted, these coats can be a staggering monetary investment. However, they’re worth it. I remember getting really heated last winter when I read an article in Metro magazine that announced the death of the parka. How could this be? I wondered for days. Obviously, none of the writers working on that winter fashion spread had ever spent a Minnesotan winter in a North Face Parka, I concluded. That, or they were all sadistic gluttons for icy punishment.
- Shoe Goo: If it weren’t for this stuff, I would have had to throw away pretty much every pair of shoes I own three years ago.
- Tea Cups and Saucers: Something about matching dishware is just so f*ing composed and adult-like it hurts—in a good way.