St. Paul Worst Dressed: Hey GQ, It Isn’t True!

19 Jul

The Magazine GQ recently published an article titled The 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America. In this article the bombastic author, Lauren Bans (whoever that is), claims that the St. Paul ranks #24 on the list. Granted, my initial reaction as a lover of St. Paul was to immediately reject the possibility that our beloved city could be so fashion-backwards. True, the city is not exactly a source of sartorial inspiration. And yet, I found it so very hard to believe that it was so out of date as to merit a top place on the “worst” list (and ranking higher than places such as Boulder COseriously?!).

Upon reading the magazine’s hilariously flimsy defense of St. Paul’s ranking, I couldn’t help but laugh at the farfetched nature of the manly fashion-rag’s claim.

Behold St. Paul’s Listing:

24. Saint Paul, MN
For the most part, Saint Paul takes after its namesake: an old, conservative white dude who doesn’t care much for earthly fashions. Consider the haircut on one of its most famous denizens, F. Scott Fitzgerald. It’s the kind of place where a Super Kmart doesn’t seem like a superfluous eyesore, it’s a gosh darn convenient place to purchase appliances, groceries, and yes—clothes—in one big time-saving trip. Meaning there’s more hours in the day to watch Matlock or mow the lawn in a giveaway tee and Zubaz. Fortunately, for the few fashion-minded citizens of St. Paul, the much younger, hipper, boutique-strewn Minneapolis is just a bridge away.—Lauren Bans

For More of the GQ Article Click Here

Why this Ranking is B.S.

  1. If we don’t care about “earthly fashions,” then what kind of “fashions” do we care about? ‘Heavenly fashions’? Oh, guys, hold on a second—I think I’m going to wear my other halo tonight instead… Hey Chris, is that a new imported 400-count-Jesus-thread robe?!? That thing is just heavenly, dude!
  2. You’re referencing the hairstyle of a person who DIED in 1940 as the basis of style in 2011? I can’t imagine what the fashion is like wherever the hell in Germany Albert Einstein is originally from.
  3. I lived in St. Paul for 4 years, and NEVER did I enter Kmart
  4. I have NEVER watched Matlock
  5. I do not own a pair of Zubaz
  6. What the hell is all of this about jumping across a body of water in order to find a “boutique-strewn” area? No offense, but I’m sure even the most introverted of Minneapolis residents has heard of a little place called Grand Avenue (not to mention the many new boutiques that have been popping up on Selby as of late. Click Here to read an article in Metro Mag listing the street’s fashion offerings)!
  7. Heimie’s Haberdashery

In addition to backing their egregious claim with smoke and mirrors, GQ  is the type of magazine that offers fashion-conscious readers spreads such as “The Celebrity Style Evolution of Ashton Kutcher

Wow GQ, thanks.

Do tell.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: