As I grow older, I begin to notice more of the things that grownups do that should really be reserved for the 17 and younger crowd. And there is no better place to witness the semi-repulsive fashion decisions of middle-aged people than the St. Patrick’s Day Parade downtown St. Paul.
The Mardi Gras beads, feather boas, facial glitter, hair dyed green, towering green and white striped hats, pleather high heels (as tacky as they are perilously high), and most importantly, the super bizarre green pigtail headbands that seem to be all the rage.
Why do people do this? Have you ever met someone, perhaps an elementary school teacher or aunt or elderly neighbor, who is obsessed with a certain thing? For instance, ducks? Perhaps they have a room where they have all their duck figurines and towels and blankets and artwork and tablecloths on display. Their bathroom is known as the ‘duck room’ or something? Well, readers, this hair headband thing is just like that. This woman is probably a serious hair enthusiast–her “thing” is hair. And the best way for her to express her passion for hair is to find ways to wear hair on top of hair on top of hair–especially when it’s in the name of getting drunk with a Celtic newsie.”