Sexual Assault in the Military | One Woman’s Story, Today’s Push for Change

6 Jun
image: Wikipedia

image: Wikipedia

When I was in high school I worked on the floor of a popular department store. I don’t remember a lot about selling economically-priced, aesthetically lackluster clothing. But a recent article in the New York Times reminded me of an intimate story relayed by a coworker all those years ago. A woman who I worked with, let’s call her Samantha, told me that before working retail, she’d served in the Military. When I asked her why she quit, her face became dark, her gaze retracted. She said that she had enjoyed the army, but that something terrible had occurred that rapidly ended her career. The story that followed was a surprising and sad.

Samantha’s Story

One evening while Samantha was on base, in her room alone, she heard a knock at the door. As soon as she’d turned the handle the door flew open with great force and a group of 4 or 5 men, many whom she worked with, rushed into the room, locking the door behind them. Before she had a chance to understand what was happening, they proceeded to strip and rape her, each taking their turn. When they were done, they left her in a pile on the floor and walked out of the room. Samantha forced herself into the shower to rinse off, but fainted, slamming her head to the ground during the fall.

When she woke up she was being attended by an army doctor, the harsh medical lights shooting down on her face. She tried to explain what had happened to her—the attack, the rape—but no one seemed to listen. She felt heavy, like she was on drugs—they had sedated her. She said that while she was highly medicated they forced her to sign a document forbidding her from accusing her rapists. She realized then that her commander was in cahoots with her attackers and that her story would never be taken seriously. She was discharged from the military and refused the rights typically bestowed to service members.

I felt terrible for her, but what could I do? I wondered why this woman had chosen to tell me such a person story. How could something so terrible actually happen and go unpunished? The untouchable, insulated nature of the military became a frightening place in my mind. What happened in that world—acts of monstrosity—were not accountable to the civilian justice system that existed in my neighborhood, my workplace, my school.

Changing a Flawed System

As the years passed I slowly forgot Samantha and her story. But the whole interaction resurfaced in an instant when I read about a new proposal aimed at addressing the Military’s ongoing issue with sexual assault. Presented by Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand of New York, the proposal aims to make it easier for men and women like Samantha to come forward with their stories with the confidence that their cases will be fairly tried. According to the current military prosecutorial structure, your own commander decides if your case is tried in court—which places a full stop on any chance of justice if your commander is your assaulter. If this power is withdrawn from commanders and bestowed on a more impartial party (military prosecutors), sex crimes can be reported with less fear of retaliation.

It seems that the topic of sexual assault in the military has been gaining momentum since a report on the subject was published by the Pentagon. As outlined in the NY Times, the report reveals that “an estimated 26,000 assaults took place in the armed services in 2012, most of them on women. Yet only a fraction of those attacks were reported and only 10 percent went to trial.” This is just last year! This is disgusting!

image: Anti-Rape Ad from Hancock Field Air National Guard Base Website

image: Anti-Rape Ad from Hancock Field Air National Guard Base Website

Resist the urge to think about the issue in terms of moral reform of rape-minded men and “slutty” women. Focus on the structural issues that are encouraging abusive behavior and discouraging victims from seeking support and justice. As Elspeth Reeve of the Atlantic explains, “The military’s problem is not that it’s filled with high-testosterone dudes. It’s that it’s a massive bureaucracy.” It is also important to consider that many of the assaults reported have male victims. This is not a women’s issue—it’s a human issue.

Support Senator Gillibrand, President Obama, Minnesota’s own Senator Amy Klobuchar, and the many other politicians and activists working to improve the military’s handling of sexual assault.

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Democracy Now: Anuradha Bhagwati Addresses the Military’s Sexual Assault Issue

The Atlantic: The Military’s Rape Problem Is a Lot Like Everyone’s Rape Problem

SWAN: Service Women’s Action Network

Things May Get Emotional when TED Talks 20-Somethings

21 May

An article on Refinery29 introduced me to a TED Talk that’s apparently striking home with a lot of young adults. After watching the video, I couldn’t help but speak out in response to the slightly jarring take of clinical psychologist Meg Jay on 20-somethings.

To me, the problem faced by millennials starts with what I like to call the “wrong map” issue. What I mean is this: After graduation from college, you find yourself in the center of some new and unknown world. Naturally you intend to rely on the tools and directions you received throughout your education in order to navigate. Eager and confident, you unfold the map you packed and begin to use it to explore. Only, the farther you get out the door, the more obvious it becomes that this map isn’t accurate at all. In fact, it seems like it was drawn from a different city entirely. Even if you know your destination, it’s obvious that it will be a lot harder to find your way there.

The route described by parents, teachers, colleges, and communities (Get a BA, start an entry-level job immediately after, find what you like and progress while earning income) turned out to be unrealistic for many among us. Not only are most 20-somethings forced to completely rewrite the plan, but they’re also dealing with the weight of stress, disappointment, and confusion during the struggle to uncover opportunities. As much as I appreciate Dr. Jay’s tips for personal and professional growth, I do not appreciate feeling as though we are all the equivalent of a sad-faced girl coming into her office every week to discuss boy troubles. I feel like this image is just another unfortunate contribution to the “silly nicknames” phenomena she alludes to in the beginning of her talk, and I don’t believe it to be true.

Although I admit that it doesn’t take long to think of a handful of people who exacerbate Dr. Jay’s ‘sad girl’, there are even more people who have been pushing themselves extremely hard for many years with little to show for it—cue the sweaty palms, dwindling expectations, and anxiety.

Is it possible that the arrested development addressed by Dr. Jay has more to do with the economy than she would like to admit? I would argue yes. Perhaps, although they would like to, many 20-somethings do not feel as though they can credit themselves with the “maturity” of adulthood because this concept is so intricately and securely tied with the more traditional notion of professional and financial success (a “real” job, a nice home/car, no debt, health insurance, a savings account, a retirement fund).

What happens to the self-image when you are offered a wage today that is the same as you were earning more than a decade ago when you were 15? How does the inability to secure a full-time position with benefits affect the self-esteem of a 30-year-old man with a Master’s Degree? How does it feel to have your entire generation accused of being lazy, cheap, and selfish just because you have a liberal/studio arts degree, own a smart phone, work at a restaurant, live with your parents, are afraid of a mortgage, or don’t want to buy a new car? I’ll tell you how it feels: crappy and unfair.

In addition to negatively coloring self-image, the delay in career launch is stunting the establishment of relationships. Certainly the link between financial/career stability and readiness for family isn’t difficult to identify. The encumbering of professional growth naturally restyles expectations for the timing of family and settling down. Those determined to find career success have to be willing to move across the country, or even the world, in order to pursue opportunities.

ready for marriage?

The act of committing seriously to another person or place can possibly undermine your own success in a world where dedication and flexibility of time, location, and skill are valued above all when deciding who will earn the prestigious position of employed. And since it now requires the full-time income of both partners in order to make a living, it leaves little room for flexibility in relationships before and after marriage.

Instead of clinging to the impression that millennials are just drifting along until 30, at which point they will scramble (and fail) to meet the requirements for being grown up, I think that it’s worthwhile to focus our energy on rethinking our own expectations. What should adult life look like? Is it realistic for it to involve multiple children, car ownership, spring break vacations, or a large backyard? I believe that you can have what you really want—but you must know what that is, and you can no longer rely on the default definition for concepts like adulthood, career, family, home, success, and other related vocabulary. I think that the real challenge faced by the millennial generation is to learn how to overcome the expectation of achieving the same level of wealth as our parents, make do with less, and to reinstate joy and pride into life by actively producing a new and more realistic definition of successful adulthood.

How did Dr. Jay’s Talk make you feel about where you are?

The Ugly Truth about Renting in Minneapolis: How finding an apartment has become a herculean effort

15 Apr

An Apartment Building in Minneapolis

Back in 2007 when the economic struggles and foreclosures began, I had a feeling that it would become harder to find an affordable rental in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis+St.Paul). It was a logical conclusion that less people owning houses would mean more people renting. But it wasn’t until I started looking for an apartment in Shanghai that I realized how cutthroat the rental market had become back home. Akin to the fable about the frog in boiling water (toss a frog into a pot of boiling water and it will jump out. Place in a pot of cool water, raise the temperature slowly, and it allows itself to be boiled to death), I hadn’t realized what was gradually occurring all around me.

At the start of my search for a sublet in Minneapolis last summer, I thought finding a room would be a cinch. I imagined all of the places in the Como neighborhood by the University of Minnesota that would be abandoned by students who returned home for the break, along with the places that were surely overlooked during the summer months before the real moving season of August and September began.

Not long after initiating my search, my rose-colored expectations were replaced by frustration. A good apartment is hard to come by in Minneapolis! Instead of lining up a few viewings at my own convenience (like the ‘old days’ circa 2006), I suddenly felt as though I was going through a job application process: strategically writing my email inquiries, preparing my documents (including my last three paystubs) and responses ahead of time, putting on my game face like I was preparing for an interview.

How long did you live at your previous place of residence? [Spoken with demoralizing ‘concern’ face] Only six months? Did your previous landlord complete a tenant report? How long have you been working at your current job? What is your yearly salary? You’re self-employed? Hmm, that’s not good… Oh, just so you know, we have a lot of people coming to look at this place this weekend—oh, wait, here are some of them now—I’ll get back to you in the next few days and let you know who we chose.

And all for a 3-month summer sublease that I’ve offered to pay for in full up front! What do you care if I make $100,000/year or $10,000/year?

In order to secure an apartment, which was overpriced to begin with, I spent 3 weeks aggressively scouring craigslist, newspapers, Facebook, and my network; offered to pay an extra $100/month; and even took my possible future roommate out for drinks in order to smooth things over and convince him that I was responsible and socially likable. In the end, the person who’s room I was taking even had the audacity to suggest that I should let her stay for free a little while after I started paying for rent because she’d done me a favor by selecting me as her replacement. Talk about a complete 180°! Remember when subletting someone’s place was doing them a favor?

The helplessness of my rental experience in Minneapolis was amplified by the comparative ease with which I found an apartment in Shanghai. For a city where residents complain of skyrocketing rental prices, there were seemingly infinite options and armies of people ready to schedule showings and negotiate with owners for lower rent—all of them working to earn my business. The difference in experiences was so vast that I was driven to uncover the facts lurking behind my sour experience in MN.

Some notables include:

  • Minnesota is the least affordable state for renters in the Midwest
  • Rents are high and rising while wages are floundering
  • Millions of families have transitioned into rentals since the recession hit
  • Minneapolis renting is out of control—In 2012, Mpls ranked as the second worst city for renters in the US
  • Finding a place is a serious competition—less than 3% of Mpls apartments are vacant
  • Rent is expected to continue rising in 2013

Some suggest that high rental prices and lower mortgage rates will result in a rise in home purchases. But faced with a limited job market and in the wake of so many foreclosures, the risk of taking on more debt can be extremely intimidating. Paired with the fact that people today prefer to wait longer to settle/marry, I can’t imagine many recent graduates are preparing to hunker down in one place at the cost of an even larger mountain of lifelong debt, even if it means a slightly lower monthly payment. But I’ll leave that topic for a different post.

What has your rental experience been since the recession hit? Are you noticing changes?

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